so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
