i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
