Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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