I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
