dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
