Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
