Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The beer is more important than you right now.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
