if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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