their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
