Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
