we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
