Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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