Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
