yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
