I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
