This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He told me they were just razor bumps!
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
