but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Randomize
