i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
