I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
