Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
