Betty ford says i'm here all night
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
