their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
