please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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