guys are only as good as the porn they watch
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
