Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
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