Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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