Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
