Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
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So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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