If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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