yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
