I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
