oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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