who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
