We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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