Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
