Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
