I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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