I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
