How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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