Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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