I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
my poor anus
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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