In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Hippo gnu deer
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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