Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I AM VODKA MAN
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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