I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
