Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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