the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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