Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
