i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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