I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
