Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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