Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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