your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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